Let's start with something we've all probably asked ourselves: "Is it okay to keep score with family?" Maybe someone forgot your birthday again, or you're always the one doing the dishes.

It can feel unfair, even frustrating. But because it's family, we often bite our tongues. Still, should we really ignore it every time? Let's explore this together.

Why We Start Keeping Score?

We usually don't "calculate" things at the beginning. As kids, we share snacks and toys without thinking. But as we grow up, expectations rise. Maybe we notice that we're always helping out, or someone in the family takes and never gives. That's when we begin to notice the imbalance—who gives more, who listens more, who sacrifices more. These feelings don't make us selfish. They make us human.

It's Not Just About Things

What we "calculate" often isn't money or chores—it's emotional support, attention, or fairness. Like when your sibling gets praised for something you've done better before, or when your parents seem to care more about one child's opinion. We don't always talk about these things out loud, but they stick with us. And the longer they build up, the heavier they feel.

Healthy Boundaries Aren't Cold

Now, here's a key point: being mindful of fairness in a family isn't the same as being cold-hearted. We're not saying we should track every good deed in a notebook. But setting emotional boundaries helps us stay mentally healthy. For example, if one family member constantly borrows money but never returns it, speaking up isn't "calculating"—it's responsible.

Unspoken Resentment Hurts Everyone

Sometimes, we keep it all in because we don't want to cause conflict. But over time, that unspoken resentment leaks out in other ways—silent treatment, sarcasm, or even total withdrawal. Ironically, what we thought would keep the peace actually damages the relationship. That's why clear communication matters so much, especially with the people closest to us.

Kindness Still Matters

Of course, family isn't a contract—it's a connection. We don't need to count every give and take. Some days we do more, some days they do. The goal isn't perfect balance but mutual understanding. When we talk openly, forgive when needed, and show small acts of care, we build a relationship that doesn't depend on a scoreboard.

Let's Be Real with Each Other

So Lykkers, what do you think—have you ever felt you were "giving too much" in your family? Or maybe you realized someone else quietly took on more than their share? These feelings deserve space. It's okay to speak up kindly. It's okay to say, "I need help too." That's not being cold. That's being fair—to them and to yourself.

We're All Still Learning

At the end of the day, family life is a mix of love, patience, and learning. We won't always get it right. But if we approach each other with respect and honesty—not scorecards—we'll slowly find a balance that feels good on both sides. And that's the kind of "fair" we can all grow from.